Log in

No account? Create an account
in a good place... 
06:31pm 04/07/2008
mood: cheerful
I'm still doing really good. I'm like 10 lbs away from my goal weight! I can wear the cute clothes I wanted to wear and have them fit the way I like. I was a little nervous because today my family is having dinner at my cousin's house. They have just blessed the food and everyone is eating. I fixed a plate b/c I would have really stood out if I didn't. We don't sit at one table and eat we sort of find places through out the house to eat so I hid in one of the little kids rooms with my little sis and got on my laptop. Okay, this isn't ED related but I am really into graffiti art. Not going out and vandalizing but the art of it. Does anyone know any good graffiti sites to go to?
03:20pm 09/06/2008
  ive noticed many people on here have aim instead of msn, so i created an aim account!
i though maybe we could give support to eachother and stuff like that, when im home, im always online! so if you want, you can add me!
jace xD
yup. with the space.
or if you want ill add you, but post your screen name!
07:34pm 21/05/2008
  Wow I am finally doing really good. I'm watching Pageant Place and its really good thinspiration. I also am just sick of being fat. I had to fight the urge earlier to eat a handful of some chex mix. I feel really good about being able to fast for the next 7 days. I hope in that time I can take off at least 20lbs. Anyone wanna join my im is shalynnluv19@yahoo.com thinspoCollapse )  
09:25pm 20/05/2008
  Today went okay. I plained to only eat a powerbar (240 calories) but I went over my friend's house and her mom was like "you've lost weight" then the questions and long story short I had to eat a salad but the dressing only had 35 calories I'm not sure how many calories the chicken was I've stayed strong since then I pray I can fast tomorrow.thinspoCollapse )  
02:04pm 19/05/2008
   i started an ana notebook yesterday, wit many thinspo pics too!
anyways, here are some of the things i wrote that really make me want to fast for a year.
i know they sound kinda over the top, but thats what i need to not give up.

"dont eat. DONT! You might just be saying: "oh, 200 calories wont hurt!"
YES THEY DO. stay away from the kitchen or youll regret it. YOU WILL REGRET IT. TRUST ME. DONT EAT.
if i wouldnt have eaten like i should have in these past 2 weeks i would already weigh 42 kilos. SO JUST DONT EAT.
HE will then maybe notice me. A SKELETON. all i have to do is not eat. WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE FOOD OR HIM?
i thought so. so sont eat FATTIE!!!"

"Stay away from food! its the enemy. ana is the friend. she can make me beautiful. she will make me thin. think thin <3 for him <3"

"I dont need food. im not eating food. it makes me fat. if i eat it ill regret it"

"if not for you, do it for him <3"

"NO. trust me, youll regret it if you eat. just stay away from it. Think Thin"

"Stop and think. WHY DO YOU WANT TO EAT?!?!?! im no hunggry. im not dyeing for food. im just bored. eating is just a habit!"

"dont eaet. its not worth it. find somehing else to do. you eat because youre bored. DONT EAT"

"are you going to let a cookie get inbetween you and thin???"

"dont let go, dont fail ana. she is my friend. she can help me be thin"


"im the boss, not the food. dont let it give you orders."

"HE <3 is going to see me in a bathing siut all summer"

"why does she keep on cooking me food? [my mom] doesnt matter. i wont eat it. trus me. youll regret it if you do. its going to go to waste even if you do eat it. its gonna turn into poop!"


and why does everyone tell me i "look healthy"????
FUCK YOU!!! youre just sayinig im FAT!!!!
04:26pm 18/05/2008
  I've had 400 calories so far. I hope to not eat anything else.
Everytime I have the opportunity to eat I have the strength to refuse

Do you believe in something beautiful than get up and be it

every girl want to be you and every guy wants to be with you

dont give up you want most for what you want at the moment

its simple; you decide once and for all that your not going to eat, and there is no further desicsion to make..!

act like failure is not an option

food is like art to be looked at and not eaten

i want my collar bones and hip bones to be as sharp as my mind

depriving yourself of food is not deprivasion not being thin is
there is no try there is only do

if you close your mouth to food you will know a sweeter taste

feed the soul let the body fast

Of course it's hard. If it was easy then everybody would do it. Its the hard that makes it great.

"I am your butter and your bread. The voice that's in your head. I'll take you in and fill you up with a lack of being fed" -Ana

thinspoCollapse )
05:45pm 18/05/2008
   yesterday i went out. and i drank.
i had i dont even know how many glasses of vodka, and the worst part is i didnt eve puke it up!!
so thats like 2000 calories of alchool.
and i cant puke it up even if i wanted to cuz its too late and its all gone!!!!
i feel so fat....

anyways,  today  i started a little ana notebook.
i write all the reasons why i NEED to lose weight.
all the tips i know, my height, my GW, my CW, everything.
and i put a whole bunch of thinspo pics.
its actually pretty neat, and it keeps me busy.
im going to fast again, for as long as i can. until i really cant take it anymore and i feel like im going to pass out.
i need to get to 89 pounds. absolutely!!!!!!!
FUCK those girls that tell me i "look healthy". thats just another way of saying: "U R FAT"

how long has your longest fast been? how much did you lose?
11:46pm 17/05/2008
  My stomach hurts but I just know I can't eat. I have decided that it's just not an option. I can't eat til I'm there. Depriving myself of food is okay but depriving myself of being thin is unacceptable. a little thinspoCollapse )  
09:20pm 06/05/2008
mood: fatt
 hey my name is maggie,im new on this community

i want to lose like 20 kg to reach my ideal weight,im 51 and my height is 1,70cm. im really fat and i dont deserve to feed this horrible body... but im going to be thin,that's for sure..!

the bad thing is that summer is comming and im getting stressed.... my mum started worrying about me not eating but wait she doesnt have to live in this horrible body-i do..

that's for today bb!!

ps. i ate nothing today :)
07:52pm 19/04/2006
  kk guys i am going to faste again! i rly want to loose 18 pounds.


     1 thought | Post
02:05pm 04/05/2005

Join fixmymirror now! We are a new community for any eating disorder, and are in need of new members!
12:40pm 08/07/2004
  So I updated the shop with funky pro-ana gear - CLICK HERE FOR LINK & INFOCollapse ) Let me know what you think if you take a look :)
It's July and it's FUCKING RAINING again. It's starting to piss me off big time. Plus I have PMT and that whole tiredness/raging hormone thing going on, so right about now it would be fair to say I'm not an overly happy bunny. But food-wise the past few days have been fine, so that is okay. Exercise has been fine. My ED is cool - it's the rest of my life I have no idea what to do with.
Site stuff here if you want to knowCollapse ) If you'd like to write a piece for Ana-Angels on any aspect of ED related life then we'd love to give you a forum for your true life experiences. I had some girls leave messages about purging - how to - on the forum. The person who gave the first one advice suggested sticking 3 fingers down her throat if she has to. It's scary. I was bulimic for ten years and never went there - that's why I don't like Tip giving - just because most of it is fucking dangerous and ill-informed. So I broke my rule and gave some safer advice. I just don't want to see someone have a trip to the hospital coughing up blood. I've been there and it's even less fun than you imagine.
So I gotta go. No time for now and when I get back I'm planning a bath and a chill for a while. Thanks for reading my mutterings and supporting the site if you have visited :) Want me to link you? Click hereCollapse )
     1 thought | Post
09:53am 02/07/2004
  another distorted image by Angelica

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
Had a strange couple of days. Always eat a bit when I'm ill because I just feel like I have ZERO energy and therefore need a little bit to keep me going. Hard to stomach when you are used to black coffee, and then a little dinner once a day about 7pm, but hey, apart from the fat gut and the fear and self loathing, it was fine [/sarcasm].
The worst bit about being ill is exercise. I find it so hard, whereas normally I need it more than anything else. Still got my fat arse on my bike and pedalled away but you know what it's like - unless you do your normal target, or better when you exceed it, then it's not good enough. That little voice talls you that you're a stupid lazy selfish cow for worrying about fainting in front of your family if you'd gone on, and how you should have burned that other 150 cals away anyway - especially as you ate in the day. Small flapjack and some rice cakes. Fuck me, I feel revolted at the mere thought of it.
Want me to link you? Click hereCollapse )
Please post up your history. 
01:28pm 10/06/2004
  Pretty - and oddly enough nothing like meI thought it might be nice if we posted up our histories of how we came to be where we are now. It might just be interesting to see how much common ground most of us have. Please post these details either in a new message if you are a member of ANA ANGELS - or else pop it in the free-for-all BUDDY LIST.

Do you have a GENETIC PREDISPOSITION? Do ED's run in your family?
Did you have a stereotypical 'anorexic family' growing up? That is negative, where parents were interfering and overprotective and where expectations were unusually high to achieve and succeed? Did you avoid conflict with your family? One parent overbearing while the other was quite passive? Family rules so strong it was difficult to express your individuality?
Were you subjected to abuse - whether of a sexual, physical or emotional nature?
Did your ED start due to adolescent crisis?Were you stopped from taking risks at this age and was your homelife unstable at this time?
Did it start out as a desire to conform to the social desire to be slim?
Was it a part of searching for autonomy?
Did you inherit low self esteem from parents who feel that way about themselves?
Did it start around the time of a period of separation or loss?

Just thought it would be nice to share. I fall into almost every category and it's actually of some kind of comfort to know I'm just a textbook anorexic as opposed to being the freak I always felt like growing up. The person is inside my head, that is me. But 'the body' I am trapped in just makes me sick.
     1 thought | Post
Been in Recovery 
03:31pm 01/05/2004
  I have been in recovery for so long and have not used the internet in so long either.
I am giving moderation of this community to two people I can trust if you would like to be a mod comment here.
03:48pm 08/04/2004
  -1. Name: mary
-2. Age:17
-3. Height 5'7
-4. Current Weight 105
-5. Goal Weight 77
-6. Bmi 16.4
-7. Goal Bmi 12.1

hey im new to this community and i have been suffering from anorexia for 2 years now and have recently been diagnosed as BEINg anarexic and i would love some support from u all :) im from australia and if ne of u have msn feel free to add me if u want to marez_123@hotmail.com
01:12pm 25/02/2004
  [x-posted to my journal]
This was written by my darling Bexxie last summer. She said it was about/inspired by me, but it may as well be all of you.
it touches my heart so well. She is such an amazing writer.
enjoy!Collapse )
01:04pm 25/02/2004
mood: sick
[x-posted to my journal]
after a lot of thought, i'm giving up solid food for lent. i think it's a good decision. there will probably be a couple of days when i'll be forced to eat (for instance i've been suckered in to cooking dinner for Jason on Sunday b/c it's our 1 month anniversary, and i don't think there's any way out oof it :( )

i'm also going to work out every day during lent as part of my new "system" or whatever you wan to call it.

i'm doing that again. because i've gained too much weight being happy with Jason. it's like i said in my previous entry. after the fact, i lose my mind.

now, i will post bex's story, inspired by/about me in another entry because it's just too perfect.
09:16pm 06/02/2004
  guys i need help!
i need some tips on starting restriction back again.
lately ive been eating regularly and im slowly turning into the fat person i used to be.
so if anyone has any tips they use that work really well please comment.
"safe foods" would be helpful

02:18am 14/01/2004
  i have successfuly avoided two catered work events.

a meeting with a full breakfast.
and a dinner with mexican food.

i swear i get the worst anxiety before these things.

i spend 70% of my day thinking:

how will i avoid eating?
if i do have to eat for appearences sake, what will i eat?
can i come up with an excuse to avoid the event altogether?

for the breakfast i just had a piece of fruit and said i ate before i came into work.

for dinner i just pretended to be 'too busy' to attend.

well.. that traumatic event is over. thankfully.

back to the regularly scheduled programing.

     4 thoughts | Post